these are not my people I should never have come here

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Never let the hand you hold, hold you down.

I'm tough, I'm ambitious, and I know exactly what I want.  If that makes me a bitch, okay.  ~Madonna Ciccone
" To tell a woman everything she may not do is to tell her what she can do. " ~Spanish Proverb

"Men who treat women as helpless and charming playthings deserve women who treat men as delightful and generous bank accounts." (haha, i love that.)

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

the fighter still remains

_going for a very long run... very very veryy long.

Monday, June 28, 2010

when will you smile again?

So i go and i go and go
can't feel it, push all sad thoughts away so i don't have to feel it
i can make it go away
i can i can i can i can can can can can

i have to,
i have to be strong for them
i have to go under water so they can breathe
it matters.

people keep saying this must happen to make everything better,
so i will try to make it better.
you don't know what it's like...
you don't know what it's like to have love fall apart all the time

here, let me fill the silence with my abstract philosophies so that you wont feel the pain that your pain always wants you to feel.
i'll show you every picture that i have seen a piece of myself in,
i'll play every song that has carried me through slow afternoons,
i will find something to help you smile

please, i can help you.
I wont let you hurt.
-I wont let you hang your head in shame.
HEY! We are all around you,
we are all around you, holding you while you feel this great pain.

(and we know you would do this too, you would do everything you could if we felt that pain.)

I will throw your demons against the wall and scream to stay the fuck away
i will fight them, i will kill them.
because you mean everything to me
and when you cry i go numb.
With every tear i break all over inside

i need you here. you can't leave us.
i can't have you gone

* * *
take your soul to some place beautiful

and listen to the birds talking to each other as they dance around you

cradle yourself in the fallen leaves and the hanging branches

breathe in the air that carries the blossoms into the world

you can't wear a watch here

you can't wear shoes

you can only do what makes you happy

you can only do hand stands and catch tree frogs
* * *

i know only that this is the perfect peace, a mystic calm, a heaven in a tear

“I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.” -William Allen White
_“One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter.” -James Earl Jones

Sunday, June 27, 2010


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california, United States


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