but i want the lump there because you're there in it

some things we can swallow,
while others come a pone us like a heavy wave,
crashing quickly and full of pressure


the weight of it makes you see so many things differently

somehow you know that old feelings -feelings that are comfortable to feel, those that you felt before... that even while scary or hurtful or anything... have a familiar sense to them-  

...that all of them will never feel the same again

you'd never know until it hits you-


your story did that to me


how could i comfort myself when i couldn't even remember what the sun looked like?



the truth helps,


i needed to know so you wouldn't be alone




but it's all over now, we don't have to fight for you anymore

and my heart is heavy
and my mind is peaceful
and i sigh and walk differently
I feel happy -No- i feel good


but i want the lump there because you're there in it


 i will breathe easy today, i will smile to think of you... because after all, that's the way it ought to be.


that's what you're memory should make us do, smile.