these are not my people I should never have come here

Sunday, July 11, 2010

lord knows it would be the first time

Narrator: As he listened, Tom began to realize that these stories weren't routinely told. These were stories one had to earn. He could feel the wall coming down. He wondered if anyone else had made it this far. Which is why the next six words changed everything.

Summer: I've never told anybody that before.

Tom: I guess I'm not just anybody.


it's happening again.
i get angry and try to forget you as the man i use to know
and then you say your worries so slow and full of fear and i cannot let you be alone..
i cannot hang up the phone.
there are wind storms that surround this thought -which turn to 10 thoughts -which turn to no thoughts, because i can't remember one from the next.

people talk to me and tell me stories,

they laugh and look to see that i am there with them.
but my mind has to focus,
i just came back from somewhere far away and the shock of having to come back and pretend that i wasn't, wears it's self on my face
i wonder if they know
in the back of my mind i wonder if it would hurt me if they knew
they would judge us and we would be defective to them and they would never get how much i am griping the chair just to sit here
and it's because of this and myself that they will just think i am just tired today
in a matter of time i will sit on my bed and try to make my thoughts of you small
i will press my finger tips to my forehead and cheeks to stop the racing
with each breath i concentrate on my escape from you
i don't think you'll ever be that same person i use to know
i believe you are different now
i miss that big person i use to ask questions to
I've missed him for three years

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